Here Am I Lord, Send Me

“Here am I Lord send me

Here am I Lord, send me

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I Lord, send me”

Photo by Mark and Kelly Hewes

                When Conrad and I were raising our support to serve God in Mozambique with MAF, this was the song we sang together at the end of each service.  Our heart’s cry and desire was to be willing to go and serve God faithfully where ever that would be.  For us, we knew it meant being willing to give up the closeness of family and friends and travel half way around the world to a foreign land to bring the love of God through the use of aviation.  It was a daunting task, but one that we had trained for, prepared for, and seen God directing so we walked in faith.

                But what happens when you have lived overseas for a number of years and Mozambique starts to feel more like home than your sending country and God once again asks, “Will you allow me to send you where ever I want you to go?  Will you serve me faithfully even if it’s different than you planned?  Will you be willing to leave what seems “normal” and makes sense to you now and go to the place I’ve called you?”

                We always envision God calling people away from their home country, but does not God also call people back to their home country sometimes?  Sept 2014, Conrad and I for the first time started to struggle with this concept of being willing to be “called” back to our home country.  For us,our life was such that we didn’t have any immediate plans of leaving Mozambique.  Our kids were ok, we were adjusted, we had a great team to work with, and God had given both of us a ministry which fulfilled us.  We had seen many people come and go but we weren’t planning on going anytime soon.  Then God called.  The calling shook our world.  It didn’t fit our plans or even how we viewed ourselves.  But God continued to pursue us, first individually then as a couple. 

                One night Conrad and I were sitting on the couch discussing our sending church.  They had started a search for new leadership due to the senior pastor having pancreatic cancer and the other two pastors wanting to retire.  As we were talking and wondering what God was going to do and who He was going to provide, Conrad heard almost an audible voice saying that he needed to be available to be the next leader of our sending church.  He was shocked and took it to his men’s group to pray about it.  During the same time, God had been dealing with my heart and had spoken informing me that a change was coming.  I wrestled with God and tried to convince Him that what I had heard wasn’t right.  But in the end, I knew I needed to surrender and trust Him.  A couple weeks later, Conrad shared with me what God had said to him.  In my heart there was a peace that can’t be explained.  Not long after that God confirmed that we were to continue on this path through a picture He gave me.  So we prayed and asked a couple of other people to pray with us. 

                After 5 months of prayer, we made the call to our church overseer to say that we would be willing to be considered to serve in this way.  Our prayer as we made the call was that someone would have thought of our name before we called because God doesn’t speak in secret.  Sure enough, the overseer already had our name on a short list of people he was hoping to make contact with in the near future.

                When we were home on our last short furlough (Sept-Nov 2015), we had a number of meetings with leadership.  Although at the beginning there were others being discussed, by the end of the process there was agreement that our names needed to be presented to the church for consideration.  So at the end of Oct, our names were presented to the church and they were asked to pray and seek God about the matter. 

                For many it was a shock;  weren’t Conrad and Heidi called for life to overseas missions?  Our only response was that is what we thought too, but God’s ways aren’t always our ways.  Many years before we had promised to follow God where ever He would lead us and serve Him faithfully there.  For us it wasn’t so much about location anymore but about obedience.

                We returned to Mozambique while the church took more time to think and pray before putting it to a congregational vote.  In mid December 2015, we received the outcome of the vote.  The church voted 96%  “yes” to having Conrad return as their full time senior pastor.  Our current plan is to return stateside around the end of May and start the transition phase out of MAF into leadership in the church.  We plan that by September we will be fully on staff at the church.

                For the last year and half, we have struggled with God’s new call on our lives.  We were content serving with MAF in Mozambique;  why would God move us?  We know our purpose is to bring God glory where ever we live, but can God REALLY want us to move for His glory?  As we have wrestled, it has come down to one thing, will we obey?  We both knew that we couldn’t and didn’t want to disobey God in any way.  Our hearts desire still is to serve God faithfully where ever He leads us.  And so we walk on in faith, trusting our heavenly Father goes before us.  We are excited to see what the next phase of our life will look like although we grieve the phase we are leaving.  And once again from the other side of the ocean this time, we are saying,

"Lord, I give my life to you,

Take control each day.

I will follow anywhere

Near or far away.

Here am I, Lord send me,

Here am I, Lord send me!

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I, Lord send me

Lord, I want your perfect will

Be my faithful Guide

I will never be afraid,

You are close beside.

Here am I, Lord send me,

Here am I, Lord send me!

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I, Lord send me

Let me see my Mission field,

All around each day.

Fill my heart with Jesus love,

Use me Lord, I pray!

Here am I, Lord send me,

Here am I, Lord send me!

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I, Lord send me"

Words and Music by Ron Hamilton

the location of the next adventure in our journey of following God faithfully