Dreams

Dreams.  The dictionary defines a dream as “something wished for; a hope or ambition.” Dreams are interesting things.  Sometimes dreams are for a season.  Sometimes dreams are there but then life happens and for a time they lay dormant in your heart.  Sometimes dreams come but as you seek God they also go again.  Sometimes dreams are all consuming and one much pursue it with reckless ambition.   

When we first came to Mozambique, 6 years ago, I had a dream to use my love of photography to bless others.  As long as I can remember, I’ve loved taking pictures.  When I was younger, I loved pictures of scenery, still life, and animals.  As I’ve grown, I’ve starting enjoying taking pictures of people.  The challenge of trying to capture a moment in time that also reflects the person, is something that I enjoy.  I love trying to find ways to make the subject feel beautiful as I capture their smile.  As I looked around the mission community here, there was no one who was excited about taking pictures of other missionaries.  We all need new prayer card pictures.  We all need pictures to send to our relatives in our home countries.  I noticed that as missionaries, we were focused on getting pictures of our ministries to share with supporters but our family photos just didn’t get done.

Well, life got busy.  Just the daily grind of living overseas, took over my life and consumed me.  The dream of taking pictures for others started to go dormant in my heart.  The other thing that happened was I started looking around and saying to myself things like “But my camera isn’t as nice as ….  I don’t have the software to do the editing I want to do.  Why would I think that I could do something like this? What if I’m not good enough?  What if I fail?”  And so for a season, I dismissed the dream.   As life found a routine and life overseas became the normal for me instead of the abnormal, the dream started to surface again.  So now what?

I started taking it to the Lord in prayer.  I started asking God what He wanted me to do with this dream.  I started listening to what He was whispering into my heart.  I stopped believing the lie that it was better to not try then to try and fail.  As I started to seek God, God started to show Himself strong.  First, He blessed me with a new camera. Then two amazing lens fell into my lap from a photographer friend.  I had asked her a photography question and in the process shared my dream of doing pictures to bless other missionaries.  She informed me that she had two lens that she had just retired due to an upgrade and she wanted to give me the old ones.  Tears ran down my face as I read the message, I knew God was opening the door.  I needed to have the courage and faith to walk through.

Even so, it took longer to walk through that I thought it would.  The fear of failure is very powerful.  But God wasn’t done, He brought a couple of people into my life to help motivate me and guide me in the process of starting.  Then my hubby provided the last link that had been my final excuse, editing software.  So I knew I must step out in faith.  I must see where it goes. 

Since March until we went on a short furlough in August,  I’ve had the privilege of doing around 15 photo shoots for people.  People of different nationalities.  People that are serving  Jesus.  Are my pictures perfect?  No.  I’m always learning new things and way to make them better.   But I’m so thankful for on-line resources and classes that help me improve even when I live in a location that going to a classroom isn’t an option.  As I keeping taking pictures, I keep seeing them improve.  But more than anything, I find joy in seeing how it’s a way to bless others.

It’s when I hear someone say, “Our church just emailed and needs a picture of us.  For the first time, I have a picture I’m not ashamed to send.” I see God using my love of photography.  When I hear, “My children have all grown up here in Mozambique, but I don’t have any nice yearly school pictures or senior pictures of them, just the horrible passport pictures.  Having you take my daughter’s senior pictures is a huge gift to me.  I get to “keep” part of her here with me while she leaves for college next year.”  I better understand why God placed the dream on my heart.  When I hear, “Thank you for helping us take part of Mozambique with us through pictures as we move to serve God in another country.   These pictures are symbolic of the stage of our life spent here in Mozambique and will always be a way of remembering our time here.”  I thank God that He didn’t let the dream die and gave me the courage to step out in faith. 

So what dream is God asking you to use to build up His Church.  Don’t let the fear of failure or what others will think stop you.  Move in faith and see what God does.

Here a few of the photos that I’ve taken for others.  Enjoy!

A Zimbabwe family right before their oldest daughter headed off to college in Ireland.

Looking back

  “Where did last week go?  Where did last month go?  Where has the last four months gone?”  When I moved overseas, I figured that my life would be so much simpler and at a much slower pace.  I thought that I would have time to stop and smell the roses everyday with my cup of coffee in my hand.  But the longer I’m here, the more unrealistic this expectation becomes.

   While in some ways, life is simpler.  When I got to the grocery store, I only have to make the decision, “Do I want it or not.”  I don’t have to worry about brands because there is only one brand available.  Most evenings find us home enjoying supper around the table as a family.  Yet because life here is challenging and take so much more emotional, mental, and physical energy than living many places, by the time one gets to the end of the day we are just exhausted.  There is always more work to do than can be done.  So one must constantly choose which need you will help with at that moment.  Even after 5 ½ years of living here, cultural challenges are still a part of our lives.  Then there is the inability to plan because you can’t know for sure that you will have electric or water that day.  It also feels like we are saying good-bye to friends, which takes a lot of emotional energy.  In the last three months alone, we have said good-bye to 8 families, some will hopefully be returning and other are moving away.

Even in this challenging and uncertain place, God has been teaching me how to live in the moment.  So as I reflect back over the last four months the regrets of not doing enough, aren’t as strong.  As I reflect of the last four months, I can see how God has orchestrated my day.  As I reflect, I remember

·         The first day after many months of hearing the MAF planes back in the air as Conrad had been able to finally get the needed documents.

·         Many meals with friends and provided for friends as a way of blessing them.
·         I see God giving me strength to follow a dream (a blog to come)
·         I was able to finish on time every assignment for the on-line classes I was taking to keep my teaching degree current.  Even with the many power and internet outages, every assignment was able to be submitted in time.  That was completely a God thing.
·         I see God going before as we renewed our residence visas.  Allowing the process to go quicker than normal so we could still make our flight to South Africa for a time of rest and help with my back pain.

·         I see God orchestrating a very special time in South Africa for a period of rest and relaxing due to back issues for me.  I was able to find some ways to help with the back problems here in Mozambique on my own and have been in considerably less pain. Praise the Lord!
·         I see God providing visas for our newest team members with hours to spare.  Their Mozambique visas arrived on Thursday to coworkers going to Portugal for language training.  The visas for Portugal arrived on Friday and the coworkers left on Saturday.  Hand delivering the Mozambique visas on Sunday and our new coworkers flying out on Monday arriving here in Mozambique on Tuesday.   I have no doubt that God’s hand was orchestrating this.

·         I see God giving us strength to help lead the English Fellowship each week.
·         I see God giving us strength to say Good-bye even though it’s hard.
·         I see “Hellos” as we welcomed new coworkers to Mozambique for the first time.
·         I see God orchestrating everything so that everyone was able to make it to the MAF family conference.  There were a number of travel challenges but God worked in each case and we had a very special time together as the MAF teams from Lesotho and Mozambique.  Conrad and I were in charge of running the conference this year and God also gave us the strength to be able to enjoy the conference even with the added responsibility.
·         I see “Welcome backs” as our Program Manger family returned from furlough to take over the running of the program for us.
·         I see tears and laughter as we navigate this life here with friends and our family.
·         Most of all I see a God who is constantly walking with us, giving us the strength for each day, caring deeply about our lives, and speaking wisdom into our heart.  A God who has the strength to carry our cares and our concerns. 

Yes, the last four months have been very busy, but I see God going before and providing.  I’m so thankful that this journey is not on my own and when it doesn’t look like I thought it would look, I can still learn to live in the moment and rest in the strength of my God.  While there are no actually physical roses here to smell, I can still take my cup of coffee and reflect on the goodness of my God.  I can still stop and enjoy the many God ordained moments in my life. 

Flexibility is the name of the game.

   So my plans were set.  I knew what needed to get done for the day.   So I got my cup of coffee and settled down to start enjoying it and putting the final touch of details on my day.  It was going to be a full day as there was laundry to fold, photo shot to get ready for, calls to make, texts to send, school work the needed to be done, canning that needed to get finished and a ladies night out to finish it off.  Conrad was planning to take our oldest out for a date and the day was off.  Then I looked at our oldest, there was no doubt she was sick.  So off to bed for her.

  Then came the call.  The call that I wasn’t expecting for today, my day that was already full.   The call that said that a friend of a friend had butchered a pig and was wanting to sell the meat.   Having grown up on a hog farm, I miss having pork.  But finding good pork around here is a challenge and can be very pricy.  So when someone butchers, it’s time to drop everything and cut up meat.  So Conrad ran over to the friend’s house and got the meat and brought it home.

   Out came the knives and computer.  I goggled, “Where are the cuts of a pig?”  Normally I would just call my dad but since it’s would be around 3:00 in the morning, I don’t think he would appreciated a call.  So we checked out the chart online.  Then started the cutting.  It’s always an adventure to say the least.  But in a couple of hours or so, it was all done and in the freezer.  The best part is that we were able to have pork roast for dinner on Sunday and more in the freezer for later.  The skin with the extra fat will go to our house helper and night guard who always are so excited for this special treat.

The pig as it came to us.

So a number of things on the list, just didn’t get done.  But on Sunday as I sunk my teeth in to the yummy roast, I thanked the Lord for providing this special blessing.  I am thankful for the mental and emotional strength to be able to be flexible.  I’m thankful for the many ways that God not only continues to provide for our needs but also adds little blessings into our lives.

Stress, Struggle, and God's Guidance

As I reflect over the last three months, three words come to mind: stress, struggle, and God's guidance.

I love December and the Christmas season.  This year I was so excited because it also was going to be a long weekend due to how Christmas fell this year.  But instead our December was busy trying to put out fires with the MAF registration process.  The stress mounted as the 206 was heading out for a paint job that couldn’t be rescheduled by the end of the month.  But we needed it to be registered in Mozambique to keep the process of registration going.  Many calls, much waiting, more calls, more waiting, rescanning documents that had been sent many times before, more waiting and finally the decision to send the plane for the paint job and let the chips fall where they may.

January was a month like we have never had before.  In the first week, I suddenly realized that I needed to take college classes to keep my teaching certificate current.  So I started searching out my options.  Conrad and I had been chatting about what kind of course I wanted to take.  I said, “I would love something that had teaching and counseling together.”  Then I found my alma mater was now offering online classes.  In less than a week they had a class starting that was addressing how to deal with diversity in a biblical way through basic counseling tools.  I couldn’t believe it.  But the class was closed already and one of the books didn’t have a way to view online because it was out of print.  But I had to try as this was exactly what I had been hoping for.  The day the class started, I received word that the school had received permission to scan the textbook and send it to me.  I was able to join the class.

That was also the day, after a three day tropical storm with constant rains, that we learned that bridges to the south on the one road that bring much of our food, cooking gas, and other items had been washed out. The tracks that allow the train to bring fresh produce into town had been washed out.   We also learned that large high tension electric poles had fallen and we would be out of electric for a while.  The internet and phone service was also very sporadic, giving one a very isolated from the outside world feeling.  The “while” without electric was 29 days to be exact.  So for the next 29 days, we thanked God for our generator.  We watched prices soar and water becoming more limited because there was no electric to distribute it.  Yet, God provided and the electric returned.

Then in the end of January, one Thursday afternoon I received a text from Conrad saying “I am going to Maputo tomorrow morning, just so you know.”  With the situation in the north still not having electric, the timing didn’t seem ideal but we sensed God’s hand moving.  In less than 12 hours, he was on his way to Maputo, the capital, to chat with government officials about our operating certificate.  We have been waiting for 7 months for this paper, on that Thursday afternoon Conrad knew after weeks of being “promised tomorrow”, the time to make the trip had come.  God went before and answered many prayers and he returned with the much needed document.

Kids doing school work on the porch because the light was better there.

Conrad bringing more fuel for our generator.

After 29 days, the electric returned.  There was much rejoicing as we were able to enjoy hot water, use the microwave, iron, and other electric appliances again. (Our generator isn’t strong enough to run some items.)  I also was amazed at how God had given us internet and electric at just the right time so that I could meet all the requirements in my class on time. 

After the electric returned, we hoped things would calm down a little.  But then our plane getting a paint job in South Africa ran into some unexpected complications with the aviation government offices there.  Conrad also ran into some more unexpected challenges here in Mozambique as we continue to work on getting MAF on a more stable and solid footing in the country.  Also the guys got the call that they had been invited to take the test for their Mozambique pilot license validation only 4 days before the test.  A test that we have been hearing horror stories about the difficulty.  So the end of February found Conrad once again heading to Maputo to take the test, and he PASSED!!  Then Tropical Storm 15 hit northern Mozambique bring with it 5 days of straight rain.  Many mud huts are collapsing.  Sickness due to the cold (70 degrees F), malaria (lots of water sitting around so mosquitoes are many), and cholera (drinking water contaminated) has become rampant.

Yet through all the stress and struggles, God has been moving.  The plane in South Africa has now been released and has returned.  

The plane on the right is the one with the new paint job.

The generator broke but was able to be fixed and the electric stayed on during that time.  I was able to finish my first class.  We were able to find food during the tough times to help our workers with food for their families.  

Chima, a cornmeal flour, which everyone uses was in shortage due to electric being out and they couldn't grind the corn.  My house helper was able to find this bag for us at a very "nice" price and we split it up among our workers.

We have seen prices getting back to more normal in the city.  With every struggle, God has given us the grace to keep going.  God has also given us the ability to help others in greater need than us during this time.  God has given us the peace that even when we don’t understand and life is hard, He is still in control and working out the big picture to His Glory.

A rainbow, a reminder of God's promise, taken from our driveway

We thank the many of you have been holding us in your prayers over the last number of months.  It is only through God’s strength and peace that we have been able to come through these challenges.