Here Am I Lord, Send Me

“Here am I Lord send me

Here am I Lord, send me

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I Lord, send me”

Photo by Mark and Kelly Hewes

                When Conrad and I were raising our support to serve God in Mozambique with MAF, this was the song we sang together at the end of each service.  Our heart’s cry and desire was to be willing to go and serve God faithfully where ever that would be.  For us, we knew it meant being willing to give up the closeness of family and friends and travel half way around the world to a foreign land to bring the love of God through the use of aviation.  It was a daunting task, but one that we had trained for, prepared for, and seen God directing so we walked in faith.

                But what happens when you have lived overseas for a number of years and Mozambique starts to feel more like home than your sending country and God once again asks, “Will you allow me to send you where ever I want you to go?  Will you serve me faithfully even if it’s different than you planned?  Will you be willing to leave what seems “normal” and makes sense to you now and go to the place I’ve called you?”

                We always envision God calling people away from their home country, but does not God also call people back to their home country sometimes?  Sept 2014, Conrad and I for the first time started to struggle with this concept of being willing to be “called” back to our home country.  For us,our life was such that we didn’t have any immediate plans of leaving Mozambique.  Our kids were ok, we were adjusted, we had a great team to work with, and God had given both of us a ministry which fulfilled us.  We had seen many people come and go but we weren’t planning on going anytime soon.  Then God called.  The calling shook our world.  It didn’t fit our plans or even how we viewed ourselves.  But God continued to pursue us, first individually then as a couple. 

                One night Conrad and I were sitting on the couch discussing our sending church.  They had started a search for new leadership due to the senior pastor having pancreatic cancer and the other two pastors wanting to retire.  As we were talking and wondering what God was going to do and who He was going to provide, Conrad heard almost an audible voice saying that he needed to be available to be the next leader of our sending church.  He was shocked and took it to his men’s group to pray about it.  During the same time, God had been dealing with my heart and had spoken informing me that a change was coming.  I wrestled with God and tried to convince Him that what I had heard wasn’t right.  But in the end, I knew I needed to surrender and trust Him.  A couple weeks later, Conrad shared with me what God had said to him.  In my heart there was a peace that can’t be explained.  Not long after that God confirmed that we were to continue on this path through a picture He gave me.  So we prayed and asked a couple of other people to pray with us. 

                After 5 months of prayer, we made the call to our church overseer to say that we would be willing to be considered to serve in this way.  Our prayer as we made the call was that someone would have thought of our name before we called because God doesn’t speak in secret.  Sure enough, the overseer already had our name on a short list of people he was hoping to make contact with in the near future.

                When we were home on our last short furlough (Sept-Nov 2015), we had a number of meetings with leadership.  Although at the beginning there were others being discussed, by the end of the process there was agreement that our names needed to be presented to the church for consideration.  So at the end of Oct, our names were presented to the church and they were asked to pray and seek God about the matter. 

                For many it was a shock;  weren’t Conrad and Heidi called for life to overseas missions?  Our only response was that is what we thought too, but God’s ways aren’t always our ways.  Many years before we had promised to follow God where ever He would lead us and serve Him faithfully there.  For us it wasn’t so much about location anymore but about obedience.

                We returned to Mozambique while the church took more time to think and pray before putting it to a congregational vote.  In mid December 2015, we received the outcome of the vote.  The church voted 96%  “yes” to having Conrad return as their full time senior pastor.  Our current plan is to return stateside around the end of May and start the transition phase out of MAF into leadership in the church.  We plan that by September we will be fully on staff at the church.

                For the last year and half, we have struggled with God’s new call on our lives.  We were content serving with MAF in Mozambique;  why would God move us?  We know our purpose is to bring God glory where ever we live, but can God REALLY want us to move for His glory?  As we have wrestled, it has come down to one thing, will we obey?  We both knew that we couldn’t and didn’t want to disobey God in any way.  Our hearts desire still is to serve God faithfully where ever He leads us.  And so we walk on in faith, trusting our heavenly Father goes before us.  We are excited to see what the next phase of our life will look like although we grieve the phase we are leaving.  And once again from the other side of the ocean this time, we are saying,

"Lord, I give my life to you,

Take control each day.

I will follow anywhere

Near or far away.

Here am I, Lord send me,

Here am I, Lord send me!

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I, Lord send me

Lord, I want your perfect will

Be my faithful Guide

I will never be afraid,

You are close beside.

Here am I, Lord send me,

Here am I, Lord send me!

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I, Lord send me

Let me see my Mission field,

All around each day.

Fill my heart with Jesus love,

Use me Lord, I pray!

Here am I, Lord send me,

Here am I, Lord send me!

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I, Lord send me"

Words and Music by Ron Hamilton

the location of the next adventure in our journey of following God faithfully

A Little Taste of Heaven

As I was going through a folder on my computer, I came across this piece I had written about 1 1/2 years ago.  At the time, the kids and I were in South Africa while Conrad was in Lesotho doing an engine change on one of the airplanes. Due to elections happening over the time Conrad was going to be gone, it was decided it would be best if the kids and I were not here by ourselves.   As I read the piece again, it was fun to remember that special time in the car.  It was good for me to be reminded again today that the "church" is global with many languages but one God.  It was refreshing for me today to once again reflect on Heaven. 

  In Mozambique, we don’t have the privilege of Christian Radio.  So on the way home from church in South Africa, my kids and I were enjoying the Christian songs being played over the radio.  My daughter commented how they would play one song in English and then the next song was in Afrikaans.  Afrikaans is the language that the white South Africans in that area of South Africa speak.  It is somewhat related to Dutch, because of the Dutch settlers that came many years ago. 

   So the English song had been played and the Afrikaans song came on.  From the back seat I hear, “Turn it up mom, we know this song.”

“But it’s being sung in Afrikaans”, I replied.

“I know but what do we call this in English?”

It was the Battle Hymn of the Republic.  I listened as the soloist belted out in Afrikaans, words that I was sure were comparable to “My eyes have seen …”  When he got to the chorus, the kids and I joined in English. “Glory, Glory Hallelujah.  Glory, Glory Hallelujah.  His truth is marching on.”   We listened to the next verse and at the chorus once again joined in heartily.  The car filled with a mix of Afrikaans and English all singing the same song to the same tune.

   It was then that I realized that we were experience a small taste of what Heave may be like.  Each person was praising God in their own heart language and it was beautiful.  The words didn’t sound the same but the message was the same. 

   This started a conversation in the car about if this was a taste of heaven.  The guy singing on the radio and us, together we were having so much fun praising God even though we weren’t speaking the same language.  We could just imagine a very diverse group of people standing before God, singing heartily “Glory, Glory Hallelujah, Glory, Glory Hallelujah. His truth is marching on.”  I could imagine the swirls of other languages around me but the tune the same, the God the same, and the purpose the same.  For that moment, two languages were united in their worship of an amazing God.  It made me long for Heaven in a new way.

Western Most Point in Europe.  

A place we enjoyed visiting in Portugal knowing our family was on the other side of the ocean loving Jesus too, even if we couldn't see them.

Chicks and Crocodiles

Last Friday morning found us piling into our car along with some of Kayla’s classmates and heading out of town to the Chicken farm called Novos Horizontes.  For the expat community here in Nampula, we call the area “The Farm”.  But it’s really a number of businesses that are run by dedicated Christians from around the World.  The official name is "Community of Fusion."They use the businesses as a way to provide jobs for nationals as well as way to show and teach good ethics in business dealings.  Their ultimate desire is to disciple and strength the local church.  While they are busy running businesses, they are first and foremost Christians spreading the love of Jesus.   If you are curious about what they are doing here is a youtube link to see more about what they are doing.

"Communities of Fusion: Mozambique"

 So Kayla’s kindergarten class, Grade 0 as they call them here, had a field trip and I had agreed to drive.  The morning was full of fun and lots of new information.  Since all the home school families also have kids in the kindergarten class, the home school kids got to join in the field trip too.  It was a fun morning as we learned all about baby chicks.  The day we visited they were busy getting 20,000 chicks ready to ship to a town about 5 hours away for people to raise there.  The kids had some much fun holding the baby chicks.

Getting to touch the chicks was so much fun.  They were so soft.

The smile says it all.

Look what I found.

Everything thing needs a little "kiss" and love now and then.

Learning how to tell if it's a boy or a girl chick

The whole group

Then it was off to the crocodile farm.  There is a location on the farm where they are now raising crocodiles.  Crocodiles are on the top of the food chain so are easy to feed.  When the crocodile gets big enough, they can be sold for their skins as well as the meat can be eating.  But because the skin is so important, the kids had to be very quiet as not to scare the crocodiles.  If a crocodiles gets scared they scratch themselves leaving their skin not usable.  So quietly we watched them feed the crocodiles.

The trail to the crocodiles

Dipping our feet in disinfectant so that we didn't bring in any disease.

These were four weeks old crocodiles.

The 4 week olds enjoying their lunch (maggots).

These crocodiles are around 1 year and 4 months

Resting in the shade but we did get to see a couple move very quickly to the water.

We also found a few other "friends" along the way.

Walking Stick

Very Big Spider. I was happy he stayed right there in his web!

Lastly we stopped and played at the school where the kids will travel to next year for Grade 1.  It was a very fun morning.  Thank you Novos Horizonte, Rapale International School, and Eggs for Africa for taking the time out of your busy schedules to teach us more about chicks and crocodiles.  

The Water Adventure

   Friday afternoon found us trying to enjoy a local pool while the rain poured from the sky.  It was a friend's birthday party and even though there was rain, the swimming must go on. :)  As I sat under a shelter and watched the kids swim, my mind went back to a time when every rain brought terror to my heart.  Conrad has worked hard and fixed the problem so now our house is so much better and rain doesn't bring terror anymore.  Now I can enjoy the rain.

   The kids were just talking about the this story the other night again.  Now two years later it's fun to see that it's a family memory that we still talk about.  Not the horribleness of it but the adventure it was.  So I decided to share what I wrote as a reflection just days after the experience happened.

  In the darkness of my children’s bedroom with only the flicker of a candle showing my way, I am kneeling in 1 inch water.  Water, that has just poured down their wall like a persistent waterfall.  A waterfall, I was helpless to stop.  I hear in the next room, my husband doing battle with his own “lake” of a couple of inches of water on the floor.  As I once again take the towel and wring it out into the bucket, sweat drips into my eyes.  My heart is crying out to God, really, really is this what you have for me?  Couldn’t you have come up with something just a little easier or a little better?  Couldn’t you at least just turn the electric back on so I could use my wet vac for the job?  God, I just can’t do it anymore?  God, I’m tired, can’t I just quit.

   My 8 year old girl and 6 year old boy are right beside me with their hand towels, soaking the towel and then wringing out the water into the bucket.  They are working so hard and are tired just like me.  I have to put on a brave face and figure out how to make this an adventure, an experience that in the future we could talk about and laugh about.  But in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to climb on to the next plane going away from here.

   Over an hour later and over 40 gallons of water hauled out two rooms, the floors in the room are now at a place where we could all get some rest.  The kids climb back into bed, after getting a treat of chocolate milk and a little time of playing on Daddy’s ipad, and quickly drift off to slumber land.  There was no talking from them as they waited to go to sleep, just silence.  Conrad and I sit on the couch hoping the electric will return so we could get at least a little of peaceful sleep and a short break from the sweltering heat.  I happen to glace over my shoulder and notice that a locally made wooden candlestick holder seems to be burning oddly bright.  Upon inspection, I realized that the candle holder itself was starting on fire and now I have a wooden candle burning happily on my wooden table.  This time I grabbed water and thanked God for it.

  This experience from a couple nights ago has been going around and around in my brain.  What is God trying to teach me?  I know my heavenly father well enough to know that there is always a bigger purpose in the challenges we face.  I also know that He will continue to teach us if we don’t learn what we were suppose too and this one I wanted to learn right away.   

   I find it fascinating that the very thing that just a short time before was making my life miserable, water.   Was the very thing that God had available to use when the wooden candlestick started to turn into a wooden candle.  And at the time I was feeling the lowest, He gently reminded me of the imprints my response would leave on my kids.  But God what is the lesson, what is the big picture, my heart cries.

  As I think back on the time of cleaning water in a candle light room with my two oldest kids, I see a family working together for a goal.  A goal of making something better than it was, we had purpose.  Then it hits me, isn’t that what Christ calls us too.  Christ calls his family, the church, to work together for a common purpose.  A purpose of touching whoever we come in contact with and impacting them for Christ.  Life has challenges and living in a developing country were water to drink, electric, and a dry house are not a given, He still calls us to make Godly impact on others.  I see his hand of protection, his provision, and his strength to face the challenge.  But more than that, I see him gently looking on and say “I know you’re tired, but there is a purpose in what you are doing.  Keep going, it will make a difference.  Keep loving others and making a impact for Me on their lives.” Suddenly in my memory, the room isn’t as hot, my knees don’t hurt as much, and I’m not quite as tired.  Why?  Because Jesus showed up, gave me the strength to keep going, and made it a family adventure.

    I know now without a shadow of a doubt that even if that plane would have come to my front door, I wouldn’t have boarded, because Jesus was giving me what I needed to survive.  We all have challenges, but I now have a better understanding of how Jesus can take the “water of frustration” and turn it into something good “protection from fire”.  Jesus can take the heat, exhaustion, and temptation to quit and make it an amazing “family” memory of making it through on His strength.  Because this life is not about what I have accomplished but what the family of God has accomplished together.  It’s about the “family memories” that we have when we can see how Jesus showed up.  So whatever you face today, may you make an imprint for Jesus.  May you find water for your soul.  May your find strength to carry on.  May you be part of the “family memory” that Jesus has for you.