Here Am I Lord, Send Me

“Here am I Lord send me

Here am I Lord, send me

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I Lord, send me”

Photo by Mark and Kelly Hewes

                When Conrad and I were raising our support to serve God in Mozambique with MAF, this was the song we sang together at the end of each service.  Our heart’s cry and desire was to be willing to go and serve God faithfully where ever that would be.  For us, we knew it meant being willing to give up the closeness of family and friends and travel half way around the world to a foreign land to bring the love of God through the use of aviation.  It was a daunting task, but one that we had trained for, prepared for, and seen God directing so we walked in faith.

                But what happens when you have lived overseas for a number of years and Mozambique starts to feel more like home than your sending country and God once again asks, “Will you allow me to send you where ever I want you to go?  Will you serve me faithfully even if it’s different than you planned?  Will you be willing to leave what seems “normal” and makes sense to you now and go to the place I’ve called you?”

                We always envision God calling people away from their home country, but does not God also call people back to their home country sometimes?  Sept 2014, Conrad and I for the first time started to struggle with this concept of being willing to be “called” back to our home country.  For us,our life was such that we didn’t have any immediate plans of leaving Mozambique.  Our kids were ok, we were adjusted, we had a great team to work with, and God had given both of us a ministry which fulfilled us.  We had seen many people come and go but we weren’t planning on going anytime soon.  Then God called.  The calling shook our world.  It didn’t fit our plans or even how we viewed ourselves.  But God continued to pursue us, first individually then as a couple. 

                One night Conrad and I were sitting on the couch discussing our sending church.  They had started a search for new leadership due to the senior pastor having pancreatic cancer and the other two pastors wanting to retire.  As we were talking and wondering what God was going to do and who He was going to provide, Conrad heard almost an audible voice saying that he needed to be available to be the next leader of our sending church.  He was shocked and took it to his men’s group to pray about it.  During the same time, God had been dealing with my heart and had spoken informing me that a change was coming.  I wrestled with God and tried to convince Him that what I had heard wasn’t right.  But in the end, I knew I needed to surrender and trust Him.  A couple weeks later, Conrad shared with me what God had said to him.  In my heart there was a peace that can’t be explained.  Not long after that God confirmed that we were to continue on this path through a picture He gave me.  So we prayed and asked a couple of other people to pray with us. 

                After 5 months of prayer, we made the call to our church overseer to say that we would be willing to be considered to serve in this way.  Our prayer as we made the call was that someone would have thought of our name before we called because God doesn’t speak in secret.  Sure enough, the overseer already had our name on a short list of people he was hoping to make contact with in the near future.

                When we were home on our last short furlough (Sept-Nov 2015), we had a number of meetings with leadership.  Although at the beginning there were others being discussed, by the end of the process there was agreement that our names needed to be presented to the church for consideration.  So at the end of Oct, our names were presented to the church and they were asked to pray and seek God about the matter. 

                For many it was a shock;  weren’t Conrad and Heidi called for life to overseas missions?  Our only response was that is what we thought too, but God’s ways aren’t always our ways.  Many years before we had promised to follow God where ever He would lead us and serve Him faithfully there.  For us it wasn’t so much about location anymore but about obedience.

                We returned to Mozambique while the church took more time to think and pray before putting it to a congregational vote.  In mid December 2015, we received the outcome of the vote.  The church voted 96%  “yes” to having Conrad return as their full time senior pastor.  Our current plan is to return stateside around the end of May and start the transition phase out of MAF into leadership in the church.  We plan that by September we will be fully on staff at the church.

                For the last year and half, we have struggled with God’s new call on our lives.  We were content serving with MAF in Mozambique;  why would God move us?  We know our purpose is to bring God glory where ever we live, but can God REALLY want us to move for His glory?  As we have wrestled, it has come down to one thing, will we obey?  We both knew that we couldn’t and didn’t want to disobey God in any way.  Our hearts desire still is to serve God faithfully where ever He leads us.  And so we walk on in faith, trusting our heavenly Father goes before us.  We are excited to see what the next phase of our life will look like although we grieve the phase we are leaving.  And once again from the other side of the ocean this time, we are saying,

"Lord, I give my life to you,

Take control each day.

I will follow anywhere

Near or far away.

Here am I, Lord send me,

Here am I, Lord send me!

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I, Lord send me

Lord, I want your perfect will

Be my faithful Guide

I will never be afraid,

You are close beside.

Here am I, Lord send me,

Here am I, Lord send me!

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I, Lord send me

Let me see my Mission field,

All around each day.

Fill my heart with Jesus love,

Use me Lord, I pray!

Here am I, Lord send me,

Here am I, Lord send me!

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I, Lord send me"

Words and Music by Ron Hamilton

the location of the next adventure in our journey of following God faithfully

A Little Taste of Heaven

As I was going through a folder on my computer, I came across this piece I had written about 1 1/2 years ago.  At the time, the kids and I were in South Africa while Conrad was in Lesotho doing an engine change on one of the airplanes. Due to elections happening over the time Conrad was going to be gone, it was decided it would be best if the kids and I were not here by ourselves.   As I read the piece again, it was fun to remember that special time in the car.  It was good for me to be reminded again today that the "church" is global with many languages but one God.  It was refreshing for me today to once again reflect on Heaven. 

  In Mozambique, we don’t have the privilege of Christian Radio.  So on the way home from church in South Africa, my kids and I were enjoying the Christian songs being played over the radio.  My daughter commented how they would play one song in English and then the next song was in Afrikaans.  Afrikaans is the language that the white South Africans in that area of South Africa speak.  It is somewhat related to Dutch, because of the Dutch settlers that came many years ago. 

   So the English song had been played and the Afrikaans song came on.  From the back seat I hear, “Turn it up mom, we know this song.”

“But it’s being sung in Afrikaans”, I replied.

“I know but what do we call this in English?”

It was the Battle Hymn of the Republic.  I listened as the soloist belted out in Afrikaans, words that I was sure were comparable to “My eyes have seen …”  When he got to the chorus, the kids and I joined in English. “Glory, Glory Hallelujah.  Glory, Glory Hallelujah.  His truth is marching on.”   We listened to the next verse and at the chorus once again joined in heartily.  The car filled with a mix of Afrikaans and English all singing the same song to the same tune.

   It was then that I realized that we were experience a small taste of what Heave may be like.  Each person was praising God in their own heart language and it was beautiful.  The words didn’t sound the same but the message was the same. 

   This started a conversation in the car about if this was a taste of heaven.  The guy singing on the radio and us, together we were having so much fun praising God even though we weren’t speaking the same language.  We could just imagine a very diverse group of people standing before God, singing heartily “Glory, Glory Hallelujah, Glory, Glory Hallelujah. His truth is marching on.”  I could imagine the swirls of other languages around me but the tune the same, the God the same, and the purpose the same.  For that moment, two languages were united in their worship of an amazing God.  It made me long for Heaven in a new way.

Western Most Point in Europe.  

A place we enjoyed visiting in Portugal knowing our family was on the other side of the ocean loving Jesus too, even if we couldn't see them.