I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted. I would think about posting from time to time but nothing seemed to fit. A little over 4 months ago, one night I couldn't sleep. I got up and wrote about the day we left. Today, on the one year anniversary of our departing Mozambique, I decided to share what I wrote that night with you. Even tonight as I read and remember, tears are flowing. Here are my memories ...
"It’s almost 8 months since we boarded that plane the
signified our journey in Mozambique with MAF completed. And yet tonight as I tried to go to sleep,
tears started to stream down my face. I
thought by this point I would be so much more adjusted to my “new” life. I thought that I would have been over all the
tears. But yet I wept as I remembered our departure.
Our team had all
come to the airport to have one last meal together at the terminal
restaurant. As normal the restaurant was
slow and the food lacking, but that wasn’t the point. The point was we together one last time. Different of the airport workers as well as
our national staff would come by and give us their farewell. As I looked around at my coworkers, I knew
how much emotionally this was costing them, yet they stayed.
The plane we were to leave on, landed and the time had
come. We said our farewell to the
coworkers with lots of hugs, we picked up our carry-ons and headed for
immigration. Unbeknownst to us, the
immigration had changed to a “new” styles just days before. So what would normally 5 to 10 minutes as we
already had all our papers filled out, took 25 minutes just to get to the
desk. Then it took what felt like forever
to do one person. One of our national
staff came down and chatted with the guy preparing to check people boarding the plane to make
sure he knew we were suppose to be on that plane. Then the boarding started. And we waited for immigration to do their
thing. And we waited. Finally the girls and I were through. I grabbed all our carry-ons, which security
decided they didn’t need to check out anymore since we were already holding up
the plane and they knew no bribe from me. The girls and I headed towards the door that lead to
the tarmac.
As I race out on the tarmac, there is sudden a huge cheer
that goes up. My coworkers were standing
at the rail cheering for us as we made our way to the plane. I placed the carry on onto the cart and they were quickly whisked away to belly of the airplane.
I turned and waved with tears streaming down my face. There stood our coworkers, waving, cheering, and
blowing kisses. I knew how hard this was
for them to stand there and cheer for us, yet they did it because they wanted
us to know that we were loved and they were standing behind our “new” calling
to a different location. I boarded the
plane with what felt like rivers flowing down my cheeks and as I sat in my seat, the stewardess brought me a handful on
napkins. In a stoic culture, this amount
of display of emotions wasn’t normal.
And then I heard the cry again. I knew another family member
had made it through immigration. Sure
enough there was my 8 year old son at the front of the plane. He had come all by himself as Conrad was
still waiting to make it through immigration with all our passports.
Then the final roar and the tears wouldn’t stop. I knew that my husband deserved the cheering
for a job well done, but I also knew it meant this stage in our life was
over.
As the plane took to the skies, I waved frantically to the
people waving on the observation deck. I
knew they were going to have to go home and deal with the lost just as I was having going to be dealing with lost. I knew from
experience how hard it is to watch that plane take off with someone you have
come to love, and yet they had stayed to watch us board and take off. The honor they had bestowed on us those last
minutes was so much more than I had ever imagine and I wept. The city was just a blur of colors through my
tears.
Later the lady across the aisle from me, asked how long we
had lived there. I said 6 ½ years and
this is our last flight out. She
commented how it was obvious that I loved the city and it's people. That’s the crazy part about love. Just 7 ½ years earlier, I had boarded a plane
and watched a group of people I loved from my passport country wave good-bye as
tears streamed down my face. At that
point, I had no idea how deep my love for another country and people would be
in the future. I could not imagine
leaving another country and have the same intense emotions and tears. And yet, here I was leaving with tears stream
down my face. Leaving a life that been
the fulfillment of a dream that my husband and I had for years, to follow our
Heavenly Father on a new path. A path
different than we expected and yet God had specifically spoken, directed, and
we had chosen to obey. "
~~~~~~~~~~
I never dreamed that at the year mark, that tears would
still fall so freely as I remember. I thought by this time the “new normal”
would feel normal. But it hasn’t, not
yet. I still find myself stopping from time to time when I want to quick send a text to one of my friends in Mozambique about something. Or checking my email for an update about something happening with MAF. And we still haven't found an Indian Restaurant that taste like Indian food in our favorite restaurant in Mozambique. But " new normal" is coming. I no longer worry if it’s ok to wash if I
only had half a batch of laundry because I’m now sure we won’t run out of water
here in the USA. I’m getting used to
have electric and internet whenever it is needed. I’m learning my way around
the stores again and where to find my favorite things for the cheapest price. J I’m adjusting back to the culture that once was “normal” to me. As I look back over the year, a new normal is forming.
Together our family is walking the journey and all the emotions that go with such a large transition. Yes, there are still tears and we still talk
about what it would be like to get back on a plane and go back from time to
time. But even then, we know in our
hearts that we are right were God wants us.
Isn’t that what we should all seek, to be right where God
wants us at that exact moment. Listening
for His voice as He directs our daily, week, monthly, and yearly steps and decisions.
Conrad and I have been focusing on not just listening to God’s voice and noting
when He asks for us, but also meditating on what these words whispered into our
hearts means about who Jesus is. As I
look back over the answers this last year, I see a God who loves me so much
that He has and continues to provide exactly what we need when we need it. He
directs our path and conversations. He brings
healing to hurting hearts. He protects
us. He is always available, and as we walk this journey of grief and change, He wraps His arms of love around us and
comforts us.
Here are a few pictures for our last couple of days in Nampula, Mozambique.
One of the last pictures I took of people with something on their head. It was always a fun game of eye spy to see what people were carrying whenever we went to town. Our favorites are still the time we spotted a guy with a toilet and other time a guy with a chest freezer.
One of our favorite restaurants is very close to this beautiful rock.
One of the last drives through this part of the city.
Can't say I miss these roads. :)
In the next couple of days, I want to share with you ways
that we have seen God go before us and provide for us in the last year.
