Resting On Eagle's Wings: Remembering a Year Ago Today

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted. I would think about posting from time to time but nothing seemed to fit. A little over 4 months ago, one night I couldn't sleep. I got up and wrote about the day we left. Today, on the one year anniversary of our departing Mozambique, I decided to share what I wrote that night with you. Even tonight as I read and remember, tears are flowing. Here are my memories ...

"It’s almost 8 months since we boarded that plane the signified our journey in Mozambique with MAF completed. And yet tonight as I tried to go to sleep, tears started to stream down my face. I thought by this point I would be so much more adjusted to my “new” life. I thought that I would have been over all the tears. But yet I wept as I remembered our departure.

Our team had all come to the airport to have one last meal together at the terminal restaurant. As normal the restaurant was slow and the food lacking, but that wasn’t the point. The point was we together one last time. Different of the airport workers as well as our national staff would come by and give us their farewell. As I looked around at my coworkers, I knew how much emotionally this was costing them, yet they stayed.

The plane we were to leave on, landed and the time had come. We said our farewell to the coworkers with lots of hugs, we picked up our carry-ons and headed for immigration. Unbeknownst to us, the immigration had changed to a “new” styles just days before. So what would normally 5 to 10 minutes as we already had all our papers filled out, took 25 minutes just to get to the desk. Then it took what felt like forever to do one person. One of our national staff came down and chatted with the guy preparing to check people boarding the plane to make sure he knew we were suppose to be on that plane. Then the boarding started. And we waited for immigration to do their thing. And we waited. Finally the girls and I were through. I grabbed all our carry-ons, which security decided they didn’t need to check out anymore since we were already holding up the plane and they knew no bribe from me. The girls and I headed towards the door that lead to the tarmac.

As I race out on the tarmac, there is sudden a huge cheer that goes up. My coworkers were standing at the rail cheering for us as we made our way to the plane. I placed the carry on onto the cart and they were quickly whisked away to belly of the airplane. I turned and waved with tears streaming down my face. There stood our coworkers, waving, cheering, and blowing kisses. I knew how hard this was for them to stand there and cheer for us, yet they did it because they wanted us to know that we were loved and they were standing behind our “new” calling to a different location. I boarded the plane with what felt like rivers flowing down my cheeks and as I sat in my seat, the stewardess brought me a handful on napkins. In a stoic culture, this amount of display of emotions wasn’t normal.

And then I heard the cry again. I knew another family member had made it through immigration. Sure enough there was my 8 year old son at the front of the plane. He had come all by himself as Conrad was still waiting to make it through immigration with all our passports. Then the final roar and the tears wouldn’t stop. I knew that my husband deserved the cheering for a job well done, but I also knew it meant this stage in our life was over.

As the plane took to the skies, I waved frantically to the people waving on the observation deck. I knew they were going to have to go home and deal with the lost just as I was having going to be dealing with lost. I knew from experience how hard it is to watch that plane take off with someone you have come to love, and yet they had stayed to watch us board and take off. The honor they had bestowed on us those last minutes was so much more than I had ever imagine and I wept. The city was just a blur of colors through my tears.

Later the lady across the aisle from me, asked how long we had lived there. I said 6 ½ years and this is our last flight out. She commented how it was obvious that I loved the city and it's people. That’s the crazy part about love. Just 7 ½ years earlier, I had boarded a plane and watched a group of people I loved from my passport country wave good-bye as tears streamed down my face. At that point, I had no idea how deep my love for another country and people would be in the future. I could not imagine leaving another country and have the same intense emotions and tears. And yet, here I was leaving with tears stream down my face. Leaving a life that been the fulfillment of a dream that my husband and I had for years, to follow our Heavenly Father on a new path. A path different than we expected and yet God had specifically spoken, directed, and we had chosen to obey. "

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I never dreamed that at the year mark, that tears would still fall so freely as I remember. I thought by this time the “new normal” would feel normal. But it hasn’t, not yet. I still find myself stopping from time to time when I want to quick send a text to one of my friends in Mozambique about something. Or checking my email for an update about something happening with MAF. And we still haven't found an Indian Restaurant that taste like Indian food in our favorite restaurant in Mozambique. But " new normal" is coming. I no longer worry if it’s ok to wash if I only had half a batch of laundry because I’m now sure we won’t run out of water here in the USA. I’m getting used to have electric and internet whenever it is needed. I’m learning my way around the stores again and where to find my favorite things for the cheapest price. J I’m adjusting back to the culture that once was “normal” to me. As I look back over the year, a new normal is forming.

Together our family is walking the journey and all the emotions that go with such a large transition. Yes, there are still tears and we still talk about what it would be like to get back on a plane and go back from time to time. But even then, we know in our hearts that we are right were God wants us.

Isn’t that what we should all seek, to be right where God wants us at that exact moment. Listening for His voice as He directs our daily, week, monthly, and yearly steps and decisions. Conrad and I have been focusing on not just listening to God’s voice and noting when He asks for us, but also meditating on what these words whispered into our hearts means about who Jesus is. As I look back over the answers this last year, I see a God who loves me so much that He has and continues to provide exactly what we need when we need it. He directs our path and conversations. He brings healing to hurting hearts. He protects us. He is always available, and as we walk this journey of grief and change, He wraps His arms of love around us and comforts us.

Here are a few pictures for our last couple of days in Nampula, Mozambique.

One of the last pictures I took of people with something on their head. It was always a fun game of eye spy to see what people were carrying whenever we went to town. Our favorites are still the time we spotted a guy with a toilet and other time a guy with a chest freezer.